We humans have an extraordinary capacity for neither forgiving nor forgetting. Personal and tribal and national affronts get carved in stone, rendered into legend, handed down and cherished year after year, generation after generation, century after century, often beyond when anyone is left alive who remembers the original injury or insult, but definitely the last three or four salvos in the feud. Families split, friendships wither, communities polarize, nations fracture, hostility flourishes, and in the ultimate triumph of the Devil, people get killed.
Make no mistake, the Devil likes to see us die at our own hands and is very good at fanning the flames of hatred and squelching forgiveness. Not forgiving equals death.
For those of us who are tuning into a broadcast today or are even fortunate enough to get to Mass Our Lord has pretty strong words about holding a grudge (Mt. 18.21-35). Don't do it; your eternal life depends on it.
Whoa...but what about the Jones' down the street always snidely commenting about the questionable parentage of my children?
Nope, forgive them.
My brother cheating me out of my inheritance?
Nope, forgive him.
Our political opponents undermining our rights/freedoms/way of life?
Nope, forgive them.
This is probably the hardest thing for us to do in the Kingdom of God.
We can often reach out to the poor, the friendless, the needy, orphans, widows, all of them, but letting go a personal slight or injury is the hardest thing to do. Our natural inclination is to remove every threat to our well-being, and that is what holding a grudge is to whatever degree that entails. There is a threat to our pride, our way of life, even our property or our life, and we wish to defend it against current and future threats based on the lessons of the past.
This is some pretty powerful programming to overcome. But we must overcome it. To hold to it is to lose our focus on what is really important, and that is God and His example of selflessness and love. If we reject that way, we reject Him, and if we reject Him, we reject life. If we reject mercy for others, we basically tell God His mercy for us holds no value to us and that at the very end of it all we don't want it anyway. That is spiritual suicide. As we kill others, spiritually, physically, literally, figuratively, we kill ourselves. If we cannot forgive others, God cannot forgive us, because we have rejected His forgiveness and the way it maps out for us.
That is a fear that keeps me up at night. Am I holding a grudge? Are my politics introducing a hatred in my heart that will get between me and God's mercy? Yes, we should resist injustice and oppression, but we cannot, must not descend to the level of vindictiveness and the way of death. This is the daily tightrope walk of our lives.
Thanks be to God for Our Lord Jesus Christ, in whom we can do anything. Let us remember He forgave those who betrayed Him (sadly, Judas did not forgive himself and so rejected any possible forgiveness for his betrayal of his Master), those who condemned Him, those who humiliated and injured Him, and those who ultimately killed Him. We are called to do the same. It is a high calling, a difficult calling, but a vital calling.
Lord grant us strength to forgive.
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